Onward and Upward

This post is going to be short and sweet and one that is not going to address particulars, but one that is hopefully meaningful and provokes thought and ultimately — action.  The grand jury begins selection tomorrow and will convene next week.  Rather than pointing fingers and accusing others of creating a path of destruction through Steubenville, it is time to let go of the hate and move forward. Nothing good ever comes of holding onto negativity.  This can only happen when that one person has the audacity and courage to be the one person standing to create change.  The ball is in your court.  Healing begins with change.

 

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30 Comments

  1. C Morgan

    Change for the better is always a sure bet. And just as a reminder of why… Because this can’t happen again.

    There’s A parallel case that ended in a far more tragic way. And a very impact worthy quote that lingers behind, and echoes truth on Facebook forever. Posted by the young girl who had suffered eerily similar crimes like Jane Doe.
    But when the police, school, & community failed to react, I’m sorry & ashamed to say, she did not have the world standing behind her. No one to counter the bullies terrorizing her, a result of a 2012 gang rape where photos of were circulated.
    Recently and tragically, she chose to take her own life, to escape such a cruel world and her pain.
    Even Her parents prior attempt to relocate, could not hinder the ongoing abuse by her peers. A year long inner battle fought and lost, for her to find some peace and a means to cope with it all. So very few supported her, & she was continually blamed & degraded. Disgusting people still torture her family and her memory, even after her death!!. 
    Society has failed her immensely, a lost soul that was not found, not enough hands reached out for. Justice was never served. 
    On 3/3 she posted just a tiny sample of her pain… Perhaps foreshadowing what was yet to come.

    Rehtaeh Parsons on FB: “‘In the end, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends.”

    #opjustice4Rehtaeh
    Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2307266/Rehtaeh-Parsons-gang-rape-Anonymous-threaten-unmask-boys-drove-girl-hang-herself.html#ixzz2QB9VYpCI 
    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2307587/Agony-suicide-gang-rape-teen-mother-reveals-daughter-trolled-hanged-herself.html

    Reply
    1. C Morgan

      Correction rape was in Nov 2011 @ Age 15 by 4 boys. She was bullied for 17 months because of.
      I have to wonder if she saw or followed the Steubenville case in the news? It’s heartbreaking to think that the tremendous support for Jane Doe, had to make it harder on Rehtaeh Parsons.
      But it also puts into perspective what a fortunate thing Prinnie did, bringing Steubenville to light. Had she not, with the subsequent attention that followed, the aftermath could have followed a much darker path.
      Both cases continue to call attention to the need for change, rape culture that is tragically thriving, especially in our youth.

      Reply
      1. tokyorose

        The “rape culture” that we see everywhere, not just lil’ ole Stebenville (as we all knew) goes straight to the piss poor parenting of the 30-40 somethings who remain so self- indulged, self-absorbed themselves they have provided no real guidance, morality, common sense to a new generation of Lords of the Flies. Until these so-called parents, who over indulge their kids w/ stuff, start giving their kids what they really need:their time, open communication, DISCIPLINE, expectations, spiritual guidance, the word NO, the rape culture along with the bully culture will continue. All roads lead back to parents who missed the boat. They got the kid in every sport with all the gear they needed. They spend a fortune on every stupid jr. hi and hi school formal that comes up. Big deal. A good parent this does not make. If only these parents had worked through their own unending adolescent identity crisis before they started breeding, perhaps we wouldn’t be faced with handing the world over to the Lords of the Flies(or did that already happen??)

        Reply
  2. timmeh

    Rehtaeh Peterson.
    Now Audrie Pott.

    What went on in Steubenville does make a difference. The pressure is on AG DeWine and on everyone making decisions in the Steubenville Jane Doe rape case. The world is still watching, whether they realize it or not.

    Audrie Pott Sexual Battery Suspects Arrested: 3 Teens Charged In Attack Documented With Cellphone Photos

    Eight days after allegedly being sexually battered while passed out at a party, and then humiliated by online photos of the assault, 15-year-old Audrie Pott posted on Facebook that her life was ruined, “worst day ever,” and hanged herself.

    Reply
  3. timmeh

    This seems familiar.

    Audrie Pott was attending Saratoga High School in Saratoga California when she committed suicide after she was raped and bullied. The principal was Paul Robinson. Just two weeks after Audrie committed suicide he was interviewed by the local newspaper concerning Audrie’s suicide. It sounds just like more of the same old same old. Once again the kids and internet were right. I hope that Mr. Robinson was cooperative with the police investigation after he pulled his head out of his azz. It is possible that he’d like a do over on this interview.

    As the news of the student’s death spread throughout the community, a rumor that she took her life due to bullying began to take hold. But Robinson said the rumor is “as far from the truth as it can be.”

    “What I’d like the community to know is to not believe that everything on the Internet is true,” he said. “There are so many rumors flying around. And I know in the absence of information, it’s easy to fill that void with conjecture and a lot of different things.

    “The tragedy of this is the loss of a very young and promising life. What led to that point is a million different things that happened over a lifetime that led someone to a decision to take their own life. To believe that there was one thing that happened, especially in this case, is not right. That wasn’t it.”

    Police detectives and the student’s family have said that the suicide is–and will probably always be–a mystery to everyone, Robinson said.

    “The easy thing to do is to point a finger and say that it was because of one particular incident, so you can know that if you avoid that one incident you’re safe. But there’s nothing in this that we can point to and say that this is the reason it happened,” he added.

    http://www.mercurynews.com/saratoga/ci_21630447/saratoga-high-community-deals-tragic-loss-15-year?source=pkg

    Reply
  4. Mark

    Suburbs of San Jose, Saratoga and Los Gatos have always been very wealthy communities, long before Silicon Valley became the modern El Dorado.

    The community dynamics – as I and others have discussed in other threads – seems to be in play. From the principal’s nonsensical rationalization to the six month delay in arrests, it again seems to me that denial for the sake of community reputation is the all important goal.

    Comments on the stories posted on SFGATE are rife with speculation, some of which may actually come to light as part of this awful story. Who would be surprised to find out that the perps are football players from wealthy families? I suspect that the odds of a wealthy family background are quite good.

    I hope the kids are prosecuted as adults. Let a thousand lawsuits blossom. However, given how the Steubenville saga has played out, the cynic in me thinks that a Hanlin/DeWine clusterf$ck may ensue.

    Reply
  5. doublevez

    Amanda Todd. For every one we hear about there are at least 100 others. Rape culture aka Male culture, has redefined Rape as “sex”. This is not a question of a few boys behaving badly, this is boys doing what they are stroked for doing. This is young women thinking backing the rapists is how to be a real woman. This is adult males telling boys, pornography is part of their normal sex life, and women who object, are prudes. This is not *one* male gone wrong, this is Male culture, Indian, and HERE.

    Reply
  6. timmeh

    The De Anza College Baseball alleged (no criminal prosecutions) Gang Rape also happened in Santa Clara county. I think was in the minds of police as they investigated the Audrie Potts case.

    http://abcnews.go.com/2020/story?id=7757324&page=1#.UWmci3eCXTo

    Reply
    1. timmeh

      I think Santa Clara county already had it’s Steubenville clusterf*ck with the De Anza case.

      There is a lot of information about the De Anza civil cases here. Warning: graphic quotes from the victim, witnesses and the defense attorneys.

      http://thecurvature.com/2011/03/10/de-anza-rape-trial-filled-with-victim-blaming-slut-shaming/

      Reply
      1. C Morgan

        Thank you Timmeh & Mark,
        You may have just answered my posed question elsewhere… what was it that kept her from coming forward?
        So is it not true that her parents weren’t aware for months she was raped? Is there any speculation they tried to come forward then? I gots some reading to do! /:
        But I also don’t feel as bad now for my other comments made. T’was a article/blog by a Santa Clara native. The author was making parallels and contrasts to the 3 cases. And she had some very valid points. Worth reading on some.
        But what almost slipped past me, was the insinuation bc they were a upper middle class community, that in its entirety, they would have supported had she come forward then. Yeah hindsight is 20/20. Never mind the rapists were part of the utopian community. 
        Her sorta main point was to insist Steubenville could learn from, and they are nothing like. Certainly so on some aspects. 
        But she was making far too much of a lump assumption for a hypothetical scenario. 
        And anyone who knows of me on here… I’m opinionated, a skeptic, like to bounce theories, but I try my best to be fair. I will dig to support or dispute it. Oh Yeah, I’m also long winded! Feel free to skim… Oops, Next time! And beware of sporadic commas, just saying.
        And So, I kinda pointed out politely re. those. And to be fair, I did get my valid stabs on steub too.

        Ok the link! I’ll post the looong comment next, b4 its deleted. /;
        http://www.neontommy.com/news/2013/04/what-audrie-pott-can-teach-us-how-saratoga-can-succeed-where-steubenville-failed

        This just in: she’s an alumna of the HS…

        Reply
  7. C Morgan

    @tokyorose,

    You are correct. Education starts at home! And Parenting has also failed to keep up with technology. Entitled kids are indulged with the latest gadgets. A free license to say whatever they please, even if it hurts someones feelings, or maliciously attacking others. There is rarely any accountability.
    Their already inflated egos, are only fed by their # of followers, their ratings of kills in online video games. They are under the misconception the world cares what they have to say, thinking they are more important than they truly are.
    When a parent hands them a new gadget, they should be forced to assume responsibility for their kids actions online. Whether through “creeping” (see Prinnie (: ), monitoring software that copies or records their activity, insisting kids allow you connected to social accounts, simply taking the time to go behind. It’s not like most parents aren’t on their PC’s, IPads, or phones in excess themselves. I know I am.
    News Flash: parenting requires your attentive supervision in cyber space!
    If you can’t commit, then your kid shouldn’t be online. Basic principle. Something needs to change.
    I read the Pott’s are working on getting a bill passed in Audrie’s honor, that will make harsher penalties for cyber bullying. I applaud and support their efforts.
    IMHO I think it needs to include parental liability, in addition to the bully. If parents are also held accountable, guess what will likely happen? They start hearing of cases where parents are penalized monetarily perhaps, or worse… Safe bet parents will start stepping up and monitoring their kids activity. The kids will finally begin to be held accountable, by the exact people that should be enforcing Boundaries & socially acceptable behavior. It’s not the job of cyber strangers, peers, victims, etc., to police their kids. To then have to deal with the jerk, or call the parent’s attention to it, hoping they will intervene. It’s a small step in the right direction.

    Reply
  8. C Morgan

    My comment to the above linked Santa Clara piece…

    Thank you for putting words to some of my anger regarding these 3 cases. 
    (And my apologies, you opened a floodgate of additional thoughts.)
    All 3 tragedies, each in their own right. Young girls Unjustly Thrust into a fight for survival, that never should have been.
    It sinks my heart to think Rehtaeh may have seen so many supporters standing behind Jane Doe. Yet also the others who despicably supported the rapists & only blamed the victim, even after conviction. That it may have only caused her so many more torn & painful feelings from contradicting messages from media and the public. Triggering only more confusion, helplessness, fear, loneliness, and self-blaming.
    Because of outsider support, Jane Doe’s rapist were convicted, pitifully so in sentences. Did Rehtaeh question, Where was her support and any semblance of justice? I’m just so very sorry… We didn’t know. 
    So inexcusable our society makes it necessary to need outsiders to demand local justice for children harmed in these barbaric crimes.
    And there is Audrie, who’s long overdue story is just now coming to light. The pain of her suffering so brutally forced upon her, and far too much for her to bare. Her chosen silence speaks volumes, it also creates tears. I’m also angry that such a stigma exists, that she could not feel certain it wasn’t her fault. The lacking security in coming forward, would never result in being blamed, degraded, or shunned. The isolation and desperation she felt, unbearably so. My heart breaks for her too, and her silence is forever haunting.
    We all would like to think our communities would rally behind. We expect ourselves, neighbors, schools, and their peers would too. We assume our law enforcement would immediately act. But looking in hindsight with such an added tragedy as there was, a life so needlessly taken because of… In all honesty, Most People naturally are going to feel only a sense of compassion for the lost victim, and the warranted anger at the alleged monsters that caused it. Taking of her own life, though shameful of society, resolves much of the unfair second guessing that traditionally occurs. 
    So had she initially come forward, the assumption of a hypothetical positive only reaction, can not truly be determined or known. Supportive should always initially occur, and it is the the only appropriate response for. But unanimously so, rarely if ever happens.
    The other 2 cases depict to the contrary all too well. Steubenville without the drummed up support and steady eyes upon them, may have continued on it’s sinister path. The Canadian case is now only potentially acting upon, only by way of much of the same outside pressure.
    And there’s the CT case. horrific bullying, victim blaming, and immediate defense of the alleged rapists. Pathetically reminiscent, simply because they were idolized athletes! And in spite of the police reacting accordingly, this was not even a factor in the judgement of most of the victims’ peers.
    We should expect most if not all of the people we live amongst, would share our compassion. But there is the snag of Reality. Rape accusations historically lead to sides inevitably being taken. And there are always some People that undoubtedly will be cruel out of ignorance. There are far too many arising dynamics in such a tragic moment. People become unpredictable. Emotions will cloud judgement. 
    A horrific, (alleged) gang rape happened to Audrie within her community. Her attackers, were those of her trusted local peers. They, and perhaps others, may have even continued to torment her after. The rape culture is alive and thriving, everywhere.
    For reasons we will never fully understand, fear of speaking out was a worse fate than death. But it begs to be explored, at least on the surface, was there an external reason for this? Why did she in contrast, have such little faith in those around her to confide in? 
    To be clear though, Steubenville is in a league all their own. Decades of underlying corruption and cronyism, Football worshiping, players allowed to run amok and live above the law. Why would they think rape was wrong? Laws are there to be broken. Town officials’ job descriptions, may include duty to clean up behind, or make it disappear all together. How dare any outsider accuse their boys, their coach, their prosecutor, their law enforcement of any wrongdoing! Deny, lie, hide, destroy, deflect with ludicrous conspiracies. Damn near may go as far as to kick & scream in a tantrum flash-mob on the streets! And Not all residents are this way. But the non secret fear of repercussions for speaking out or disrupting status quo, doesn’t dispel the reputation.
    But I digress… 
    IMHO Three things need to happen. First, education to all youth on sexual assault from both sides, and all aspects of. However, it should start at home. And the foundation must include a moral compass.
    Second parents need to get with the technological times, online monitoring is part of parenting. You hand them a gadget, you assume the responsibility for their actions on it. 
    Third, holding kids accountable for their cyber bullying, especially in cases of rape. I hope to see Audrie’s bill originate and pass. I think if parents were also held liable, #2 would fall into play.
    And on parting thought, a quote that echoes from Rehtaeh’s Facebook, posted 3/3. “In the end, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends.”

    Reply
    1. Leigh LaFon (@DenverElle)

      I am haunted by that famous quote, about the silence of our friends, because I believe it is the realization of being let down, the unexpected betrayal of support and friendship, that hurts so many in that situation. With enough peer support, that shared strength can be “borrowed” by a victim, until it is absorbed. We can be betrayed by those we counted on at any age, but adolescent girls seem to have it worse than any. I have heard middle-aged women break down crying about their own teenage social traumas, and then observed the social cruelty all over again with my daughter’s peers when she entered middle school. Many adult women I know are still haunted by their own long past failure to stand up for a victim, or by memories of being a victim. We need to do a better job of teaching about social bullying, which the internet magnifies exponentially. The psychological damage it causes is much more substantial and lasts longer than many realize. It may be one of the keys to teen suicide. Unfortunately, with teenagers, the best parental support, no matter how vital, may not be enough to buffer against the loss of hope when peers turn on a victim. At that age, self-identity is so much about peer acceptance.

      Reply
  9. Mark

    Here’s the latest from Saratoga. Lo and behold. Football players. And an even more curious decision from the principal. It just seems to be getting worse.
    http://www.sfgate.com/news/crime/article/Lawyer-Assaulted-teen-had-drawings-name-on-body-4435279.php

    Reply
    1. prinnie (Post author)

      I want to know WHO RAISED THESE PIGS? What kind of parent fails their child so terribly that their male children think this is acceptable behavior? I hope that they are charged with everything possible — and that their families and the school are sued into bankruptcy. This madness has got to stop. It is time for parents to take responsibility for their children. PERIOD.

      Reply
      1. Leigh LaFon (@DenverElle)

        So so true. If parents claim they don’t know what their kids are up to, they are no longer even parenting those kids. Why, when no one has to have kids, when Planned Parenthood and adoption make child rearing optional, do so many people choose to do a half job, or worse? The roots of the problems for these rapey, victim-blamey kids run so deep. I can’t believe this level of depravity and lack of empathy stems from any suddenly bad behavior.

        Reply
  10. Alchemist

    Here’s how a REAL coach sets an example for his players, and shows TRUE leadership

    http://www.sportsonearth.com/article/44702352/

    Reply
  11. Timmeh

    New story just up on the Audrie Pott case in Saratoga California.

    Herhold: The principal’s inaccuracies in the Audrie Pott case

    The story begins “Late last September, Paul Robinson, the principal of Saratoga High School, talked with a reporter from this newspaper about the suicide of a 15-year-old sophomore, Audrie Pott. He said a few things that probably will come back to haunt him.

    The story the reporter refers to is Saratoga High, community deals with the tragic loss of 15-year-old. That is the story I excerpted in a comment above.

    The reporter is apparently not buying one possible explanation for the inaccuracies: An officially sanctioned covert operation to entrap the perps.

    Nonetheless, Robinson wound up putting out what can only be called a heap of inaccuracies. His administration declined a plea from parents to expel the boys.

    Maybe there is an explanation for all this. I’ve considered — and rejected — the idea that Robinson’s statements were deliberate misinformation to protect an investigation.

    As an aside, I must state that I am not surprised at this turn of events. The statements of Paul Robinson in the September story actually broke my bullshit meter.

    Reply
    1. timmeh

      New stories just up on the Audrie Pott case in Saratoga California.

      Herhold: The principal’s inaccuracies in the Audrie Pott case.

      The story begins “Late last September, Paul Robinson, the principal of Saratoga High School, talked with a reporter from this newspaper about the suicide of a 15-year-old sophomore, Audrie Pott. He said a few things that probably will come back to haunt him.

      The story the reporter refers to is Saratoga High, community deals with the tragic loss of 15-year-old. That is the story I excerpted in a comment above.

      The reporter is apparently not buying one possible explanation for the inaccuracies: An officially sanctioned covert operation to entrap the perps.

      Nonetheless, Robinson wound up putting out what can only be called a heap of inaccuracies. His administration declined a plea from parents to expel the boys.

      Maybe there is an explanation for all this. I’ve considered — and rejected — the idea that Robinson’s statements were deliberate misinformation to protect an investigation.

      As an aside, I must state that I am not surprised at this turn of events. The statements of Paul Robinson in the September story actually broke my bullshit meter.

      http://www.mercurynews.com/scott-herhold/ci_23039418/herhold-principals-inaccuracies-audrie-pott-case
      http://www.mercurynews.com/saratoga/ci_21630447/saratoga-high-community-deals-tragic-loss-15-year?source=pkg

      Another related story from today is Audrie Pott case: Suspects in court, family files claim against school district.

      Attorney Robert Allard represents the Pott family.

      Among the charges Allard makes against school administrators was that they did not act on bullying concerns brought up to the principal who preceded current principal Paul Robinson; that Robinson announced Audrie’s death before her family had a chance to tell other relatives; and that a few weeks later, proclaimed that bullying was not the cause of the girl’s suicide despite having knowledge of the police investigation into the alleged assault.

      “That caused a great deal of anxiety for the family,” Allard said. “From the mother’s perspective it was extremely inappropriate and insensitive for the school to have announced to the student body Audrie’s passing before the family even understood that she had passed.”

      http://www.mercurynews.com/saratoga/ci_23039670/audrie-pott-case-suspects-court-family-files-claim

      Reply
  12. timmeh

    This article about the Rehtaeh Parsons case is beyond disturbing.

    http://thechronicleherald.ca/metro/1123562-march-stabbing-of-boy-may-have-link-to-rehtaeh-case

    Reply
    1. Alice

      Sounds like this guy, RCMP spokesman Cpl. Scott MacRae, and the rest of his department, has blood on they hands. Also seems like the RCMP doesn’t know how to run an investigation, if they’re just sitting back waiting for someone other than the victim’s friends to come forward with info.

      Makes me so angry……….

      Reply
  13. gunnerguy55

    Just when you think it can’t get any crazier
    As published in the Steubenville paper on Fri. 4/19/13
    Coach Reno gets a new 2 yr contract for something other than coaching as approved by the S B of education

    Reply
    1. prinnie (Post author)

      Maybe the GJ will find him guilty of not adhering to mandatory reporting law as he should be charged.

      Reply
  14. mysterymom7

    Looks like I have a lot of reading to do to catch up. Your friend M on Twitter pointed me in your direction. You’re both my kind of people! I’ve read about this case here and there, but got sidetracked by another case I’m stuck on. I need to expand my horizons and look forward to reading your blog! 🙂

    Will they be tried as adults?

    Reply
    1. prinnie (Post author)

      They were tried as juveniles and adjudicated “delinquent”.

      Reply
  15. Alchemist

    @Alice April 17, 2013 at 4:28 pm

    Sounds like this guy, RCMP spokesman Cpl. Scott MacRae, and the rest of his department, has blood on they hands. Also seems like the RCMP doesn’t know how to run an investigation, if they’re just sitting back waiting for someone other than the victim’s friends to come forward with info.

    Makes me so angry……….

    Unfortunately, the RCMP are not what they once were. The RCMP is very badly managed, and morale in the force is now pretty-much at rock-bottom. Until just a year or so ago, officers were even forbidden to form a union, unlike just about every other police service in Canada. In the last few years reports have come out from whistleblowers about sexual harassment of female officers and employees — all in all, it’s a very toxic environment in which to work for female officers. As such, it comes as no surprise that only a half-hearted investigation of the rape of a young girl was conducted.

    They like to go after “easy” targets like Robert Dziekański — see the Wikipedia article: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Robert_Dzieka%C5%84ski_Taser_incident

    The coroner recently ruled Dziekański’s death a homicide — not that the RCMP officers involved will _ever_ see the inside of a jail cell.

    Reply
  16. Bron

    I wonder what reporters/bloggers got paid off, say with $5,000 to $10,000 by the mafia in Steubenville to shut up? The have a good reputation of doing that, whenever someone starts to talk to much

    Reply
  17. gunnerguy55

    Come on folks
    The attention on this tragic event has seemed to fall off. Keep up the pressure to see justice prevail I would like to see the pressure on steubenville stay high are you,, like me getting a sick feeling in the gut
    About all the delays in grand jury investigation

    Reply
    1. prinnie (Post author)

      I’m still watching – don’t have a lot to say until the Grand Jury hands down indictments, but trust that I have gone nowhere as others have not. I think the delays in the GJ are due to additional evidence they are coming upon.

      Reply
  18. gunnerguy55

    I truly hope you are 100% correct Just trying to keep the interest high
    I guess a little frustrated after the latest recess of G J
    Live in a nearby town and have a pretty good picture of all the shenanigans that have happened

    Reply

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