Autumn in Ohio

10.25.2015_fallIt won’t be long now until the trees are bare and winter’s wind and that ugly white stuff that no one wants to acknowledge will be here, and it will be yet another year that I am not back in my beloved home in the Mojave Desert.  BUT…I’m making the best of it, and I truly believe that everything that happens in our lives is for a reason and preparing us for the next journey that the universe/creator tosses our way.  I miss the desert A LOT, but while I was there I also missed the changing of seasons, especially autumn.  It is by far my favorite season just because of the brilliant colors of the leaves turning as they die.  That has always intrigued me – the leaves are dying and in their death throes provide the most amazing backdrops to our surroundings.  I’ve been so sick that I haven’t been able to get out to take some pictures, but hopefully this week I can get out and snap some.

Speaking of being sick…I saw the surgeon on Friday and had my staples removed.  Hurray!  They were so uncomfortable, especially when I sat up for more than an hour.  The staples where they sewed up my naval would get really sore from the pressure so I could only sit up for short periods of time, which was making me crazy because I absolutely hate laying in bed.  I hate that I can’t do anything while laying down, and am supposed to rest but just can’t seem to make my brain shut up so I can rest.  It’s a struggle. LOL  So, the staples are out and I don’t see the surgeon for a year when he will do a scope to make sure everything is working properly.  He did say that it could take a year for my bowels to “fully wake up” and be normal, and the pain I’m feeling where they reconnected the colon could be around for another month or two.  NOT what I wanted to hear, but I can deal with it.  I’ve come this far and for just three weeks post-op, I’m doing fairly well, minus the setback with dehydration and having to go to the ER.

I’ve also decided that I need to write here more often.  I love to write, and it’s an escape for me.  There are a lot of reasons I stopped writing here.  Much of it had to do with the fallout over Steubenville, and dealing with the weirdo true crime haters that I have accumulated over the years.  It’s difficult for me to put myself out there – as far as revealing a lot of personal information about myself because some of these true crime weirdos are very ruthless.  They don’t care to pour over my blogs or social media presence to search for tidbits of information to fuel their hate or to stalk and harass those I care about because that’s just how spiteful and vile these individuals are.  For a long time, I’ve ignored them and the shitty things that they do, but there comes a time when not speaking out about it makes me somewhat of a hypocrite.  I was placed in public eye because I did speak out about something that bothered me regarding the Steubenville rape case, and it’s just not my nature to NOT speak out.  By ignoring these paste eaters and allowing them to harass me and others is going against everything that I stand for.  Plus, I think at some point they have mistaken my silence for weakness and I’m just not okay with them continuing to show their asses and getting a pass from me.  So, in the coming days and weeks, I am going to talk about them.

And I am going to talk a lot more about Steubenville and some of the things that happened in the aftermath that haven’t been discussed.  I’m bothered by a lot of things that happened, and I feel somewhat guilty for not speaking out about Deric Lostutter when he was victimizing people or going after innocent Steubenville residents just because he thought that it was going to get him some media attention.  At this point, it is pretty obvious that anything that happens in Steubenville from here on out, Deric is going to stick his nose in it.  Just as he has gotten involved in the legalization of marijuana in Ohio with the CRAPPY and monopolozing Issue 3.  He doesn’t even live in Ohio, but that doesn’t stop him from trying to use the people of my home state for his own selfish desires and for whatever reason.  But…I’ll write more about this at a later time.  It’s  time that the fairy tale behind KYAnonymous’ white knighting for women across the land is exposed and that the misogynistic fraud is revealed.

I’m trying not to do too much at once.  I’m always exhausted and it’s going to take a minute to get back to “normal” – or what is normal for the time being.  All in due time.

So, for now…that’s it, but before I close I want to thank all who have contributed to my fundraiser.  I thank you from the bottom of my heart.  Words alone cannot express my gratitude.  It still bothers me that I am in a position that I even need to ask for help, but the kindness and generosity are SO much appreciated.


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