I attended the TriBeCa Film Festival world premier of ROLL RED ROLL. It was an amazing experience and the film is just…beyond words. I feel like finally — someone got it! The rape case itself was enough to be outraged about, but the bigger question of “why didn’t anyone do anything to help”? was explored masterfully. I also realized that more people need to stand up and say something when they see something that is wrong. It’s not easy. I’m not going to lie. I’ve been betrayed and abandoned by people that I trusted with my life. I’ve been lied to by people I loved implicitly. I’ve been sued and beaten down emotionally. At times it downright sucked but almost 6 years later, I am proud of myself for withstanding the storm and holding true to what I believed in – whether people liked it or not.
In the film, I briefly spoke of my own sexual assault. Watching myself on a giant screen in front of strangers talking about it was rough because I’ve never spoken publicly about it. Few people even knew about it, but it explains the reason I felt the need to speak up for Jane Doe.
I’ve been through a lot over the years…but, I’ll get through it. Just like I always do. Diches fell – you just DO. Life isn’t easy. Anyone that tells you it is, is a liar. It sucks and you just have to learn to navigate around the shitty parts of it. And it’s OK to be sad. That’s part of life. People who pretend that they have no sadness are faking it to make it. I’ve also learned through this journey that I am who I am, and if someone doesn’t like me – that’s okay, too. I get sad and upset. We ALL do. I’m not afraid to bare that side of myself anymore. I’m human. We all have our stories, and our pain. To sum it all up, and as the great Morgan Kibby succinctly put it “nothing heals me, but to be master of myself”. Be brave. Be strong. Be happy and sad…but be yourself.